Category: Game Boy

27 Game Boy Haikus

8/28/2020

Recently I picked up a handful of Game Boy and Game Boy Color games, as I was in need of games I could quickly pick up and put down while juggling a newborn. While I had an original Game Boy as a child I had only a couple of games, making this unexplored territory for me. After playing each I commemorated my experience with a haiku. Some snarky, some celebratory, and others simply about the mood and impression the game imprinted on me.

Tetris
Gravity fulfilled
Ephemeral compartments
Raining infinite

Centipede
Swirling insects bend
Rainbow mushrooms blooming bright
Illuminations

Metal Gear Solid
Cinematic charm
Infiltrate the base with stealth
My rank: terrible

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages
Duality blend
Masterful dungeon design
Ultimate puzzle

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons
Flowers blooming bright
Heat brings vines to fallen leaves
Frozen lakes shimmer

Mario Golf
Crisp fairway stretches
Soothing peace of open space
Pierce the air soaring

Jurassic Park
Welcome to the park
Where dinosaurs drop ammo
Clever bazooka

Star Wars
Float high in the air
Jawas explode by your hand
Han is not with you

Resident Evil: Gaiden
Horror repeating
This series is boat obsessed
Save file lost at sea

Resident Evil
Boldly ambitious
Dining without a table
Failed experiment

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2
Old names and faces
Takes me back to a fond time
Skateboards roll through dreams

Donkey Kong
How does it translate?
Broken copy of this game
Never to be played

Wizards & Warriors X: Fortress of Fear
The warrior returns
The cruelty of bad music
And no continues

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan
All turtles the same
Zero unique qualities
Pizza lacking taste

Castlevania: The Adventure
Trudging through the mud
Impossible pitfall shame
Hunter is hunted

Castlevania II: Belmont’s Revenge
Reborn in sequel
Demo wholly rectified
Revenge is attained

Castlevania Legends
Respawns irritate
Ariel motion unnerves
Charmed by Alucard

Mickey’s Ultimate Challenge
String of baby games
Not what I was expecting
That’s on me I guess

Pac-Man
Reminds of pizza days
Binoculars isolate
A limited view

Bionic Commando: Elite Forces
A journey ends short
Item select glitch blocks path
Am I missing much?

Alone in the Dark: The New Nightmare
Rub against the walls
Far from Resident Evil
Limitations felt

The Final Fantasy Legend
Built on sand and mud
Blind we walk through the dense fog
Forget this square world

Final Fantasy Legend II
Better than before
Overwhelmed by endless rules
Our destiny lost

Final Fantasy Legend III
Flood of evil spreads
Future warriors embark
Rebuild history

Super Battletanks
Desert empty field
Nothingness meets fake 3D
Spinning endlessly

Milan’s Secret Castle
Like the N-E-S
Plus lag and a smaller screen
Never liked this one

Yoshi’s Cookie
Sweet, sweet alignment
A factory of friendship
Baking harmony

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Rapid Reviews Part VIII

8/23/2020

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More quick reviews.

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages (Game Boy Color) - Easily one of the best Zelda titles and arguably the best dungeon design of any Zelda game.
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons (Game Boy) - Playing this back to back with Ages was so much fun. Compared to Ages, Seasons is a bit more action oriented whereas Ages leans more heavily on puzzles.
Firewatch (PS4) - A simplistically delivered heartfelt story.
Carrion (Switch) - Repetitive, confusing, boring, and unnecessarily convoluted. One of the worst Metroidvanias ever produced. And to brand this as “horror” is just silly.
Panzer Paladin (Switch) - It’s got the retro look, fun weapons, and the cool anime inspired cut scenes. Gameplay and level design is where it falls short.
Curse of the Moon 2 (Switch) - The sequel that satisfied the itch left by the original. And yet still I crave more.
Mario Land 2 (Game Boy) - It’s intuitive, the power-ups are simple yet fun, you have freedom to chose what order to tackle levels, there’s secret stages, the check points curb any frustration, the water levels don’t suck, and Wario is awesome.
Castlevania Adventure (Game Boy) - You move like you are walking through mid, there’s no sub weapons, the hit collision on Belmont is unfairly large, you lose whip upgrades with damage, the gap jumps are ridiculously difficult, and the level design feels disconnected from the reality of the environments they are meant to exist in.
Brothers (PS4) - The mechanics are unique and at first a bit of a brain teaser to get accustomed to as it requires you to multitask in the truest sense of the word. It’s how I imagine drummers feel when they first learn how to play.
Resident Evil: Gaiden (Game Boy) - Unlike the failed, overly ambitious Game Boy version of the original Resident Evil (an unfinished demo), Gaiden smartly employs a battle mechanic that fits into the simplicity of the hardware. Where it suffers is in the dialogue that seems to have been outsourced to an elementary school student.

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27 Game Boy Haikus

Rapid Reviews Part VIII

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